Lorde is literally a pale blog in human form

(via moistbottom)



my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”

for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half

(Source: gay-moth, via nikospringles)



One time I was at a church retreat and a bunch of us were all talking and playing cards. Well I ran out of soda just as my friend was getting up to get a refill so I shouted to him "Hey, Bryan, Mountain Dew me.” Do you see where this is going because I did not. 

You guys, I literally shouted a phrase that sounded like “Mount and do me” in a room full of very conservative people. I did not share this near death experience for 22 notes.

(Source: buckyismyhero, via kukaa--imara)


this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid

(via disowns)


"America is a land of freedom!!11!!"


(via palmist)


i will not be impressed at technology until i can download food and clothes and money from the internet

(via palmist)